Winning Through Non-Retaliation

"Love is patient" (1 Cor. 13:4).

Love does not retaliate.

We usually think of patience as the ability to wait or endure without complaint—whether it's with people or circumstances. But the Greek word translated "patience" in 1 Corinthians 13:4 refers specifically to patience with people. It literally means "to be long tempered," and speaks of one who could easily retaliate when wronged but chooses not to.

That kind of patience is a spiritual virtue reflective of God Himself (cf. Gal 5:22). It can't be duplicated on a purely human level. But for Christians, it's to be a way of life. Paul said, "I . . . entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love" (Eph. 4:1-2).

God Himself is the supreme example of patience. Peter said, "[He] is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9). Those who reject His grace are despising "the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience" (Rom. 2:4).

In the Greco-Roman world of Paul's day, retaliating for a personal insult or injury was considered a virtue. Non- retaliation was interpreted as a sign of weakness. Our society is much the same. Our heroes tend to be those who fight back with physical strength or litigation. But that isn't God's perspective, nor was it Christ's in praying for His killers, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

As you consider your own patience, remember that retaliation isn't always blatant and forceful. It's often subtle—like withholding affection from your spouse when he or she has wronged you, or withdrawing from a friend who has hurt you. But godly love never retaliates. It cares more for the feelings of others than for its own.

Remember the Lord's patience toward you, and allow His Spirit to produce similar patience in you.

Suggestions for Prayer

If you are harboring resentment toward someone who has wronged you, confess it to the Lord and do everything you can to reconcile with that person.