Who Deserves Love?

People don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve our love. They don’t have to be faultless or easy to like or get along with. That’s a good thing, because none of us are all those things all the time; none of us are perfect. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to show one another love and understanding. “All the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
When people live or work closely together, it’s easy to get negative or judgmental about one another, and that doesn’t make things any better, of course. It becomes a vicious cycle of judging and criticizing and measuring that undermines friendships and working relationships.
But we don’t have to fall prey to that. There is an alternative, a strengthening cycle in which we love each other through our bad days, forgive one another’s mistakes, compensate for one another’s weak areas, and bring out one another’s strengths. Love begets love. It inspires others to give their best, it wins God’s blessing, and it makes us happy.
Instead of looking at how much others are giving us or how worthy we think they are of our love and help, we should ask God for more love. God’s love is unconditional and strong enough and pure enough to withstand our human faults and mess-ups, which are many. We should ask Him for love that isn’t contingent on us clicking with people, love that appreciates them for who they are, love that loves even when they are late or selfish or rude or unkempt or disorganized or just plain in the wrong.
There are many reasons, of course, for a lack of love. Being judgmental is one. Being self-centered is another; when we focus on our own needs and what we want, we don’t see the needs of others. Selfishness is another; we think that giving to others of our time and attention will cost us more than we want to give or stand to gain. Busyness is another; we get so focused on reaching our goals that we don’t realize the effect this is having on others. Stress also hinders love, because at the time nothing seems as important as whatever has us stressed. Pride is another, because it takes humility to put love into action or words; our pride tells us to wait for the other person to make the first move. Resentment over past hurts that we haven’t forgiven and let go of can hinder our ability to love for a long time.
It’s also possible that those we find it hard to love would be pretty difficult for anyone to get along with. Maybe they don’t go about things the right way. Maybe they are full of faults.
We can always come up with some reason not to love, and each seems justified if we’re only willing to love when it comes easy. But when we put ourselves in others’ shoes, we realize what a big difference a little love could make. Then all those excuses don’t hold up.
The apostle Paul wrote that without love, our lives don’t really amount to anything. Of our talents and achievements and even our sacrifices he said, “Without love, it is nothing.” Impartial, unconditional love is not a natural human quality. It’s supernatural. It’s heavenly. But it’s not out of our reach. It’s a gift of God, and it’s ours for the asking. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights.” “Ask [God], and it will be given you.” It’s a gift, but we don’t get better at it automatically. Nothing precious comes easy. Like replacing any old habit with a new one, learning to love like God does takes time and thought and prayer and effort. If we want to grow in love, we have to make time for that.
If this rings true, step back and reevaluate things. Look at your life and goals, and factor in more time to love. Factor in more time for your loved ones. Factor in time for friendships, and not just with people you’re already close to or naturally get along with. Factor in time for going-out-of-your-way love. And be sure to factor in time for heart-to-heart communication with Jesus, who the Bible calls “the express image of the invisible God,” being filled with and transformed by His love, and thanking Him for it.
God wants to give you the love you need to be fulfilled and happy, and He wants to love others through you. He wants to stretch you and make you capable of loving much more than you probably think you’re capable of.
Love is a miracle. Ask Him for that miracle. Ask Him for more of His nature, and then act as though you have all the love you need to make the right choices, the unselfish, loving, humble choices, the hard choices. And God won’t fail. He’ll fill your heart to overflowing.

Life is born of struggle. To enter this world, a baby must leave the comfort and security of the womb and make a difficult and perilous passage through the narrow birth canal. Before an eagle can soar to the heavens, it must peck and push its way out of the egg. Before a butterfly can delight us with its colors and grace, it must escape from its cocoon.

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Galatians 5:14 (ESV) For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

1. Corinthians 13:1-3 (ESV) If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

James 1:17 (ESV) Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.